International Playboy

Written by Lucia.


Dear Lucia,

I went on a date with a guy from London. He then stopped by LA for an evening to hang out with me on the way to his business trip in Seattle. I didn't want to kiss him or let him give me a massage as he asked for. Since then, he hasn't called me - just 2 short emails.

I'm starting to miss him and I'm falling for him! I was going to call him to ask when he'll be in the USA again. I know he travels all the time, mostly to the east coast - I want to meet him there - is it wise to do so? He's so my type of guy - I realize how much spiritually and intellectually I am attracted to him - we click!

Life is short and I won't find his type of guy in LA - no way. I think it's worth it to see him again even if I pay for the air ticket. Dorothy

Dear Dorothy,

Please tell me you're in your early 20's, because you're behaving like a silly girl. You're looking for your Prince Charming, and after seeing someone twice, you have him up on a pedestal and think he's the one. It's called projection, because you're projecting onto him qualities you're looking for in a man and assuming he has them. STOP IT!

You hardly know the guy and you miss him? What's to miss? I think what you miss is having a man. Life may be short, but it can sure get long when you're waiting for the call or text that never comes.

He wanted to give you a massage on your second date? I think he was looking for an L.A. booty call, and when he saw it wasn't going to happen, he wasn't interested – thus, the two short emails. He's written you off, but not completely, just in case.

You're wrong about not finding this type of guy in L.A. There are plenty of them – they're called players. Save your money and look for someone whose number doesn't begin with "011..."


Tags: players playboy how to deal with a player projection limerence

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