How Do I Not Screw it Up?

Written by Lucia.

keep calm and do not screw it up

Hi Lucia,

I recently reconnected with old college friend. We have both never been married. He knows that he’s not had an emotional connection with most women & openly talks about this.  We met at 17 (he was my first kiss) and then got busy in our separate lives but reconnected a few years ago on Facebook. Over the years, he discussed all his women issues with me & I shared all my hook ups. Our common friends tried to match us in the past but until recently we never felt that connection.

He lives in another country and recently visited me. We talked and talked & really got comfortable with each other. We discovered we have a lot in common as well as an amazing sexual chemistry (though I didn’t sleep with him). What he liked about me was I am not that interested/desperate to marry him (but I do want to be with him all my life). He told his best friend that he felt something really strong.

I feel so great – can’t ask for anyone better! It will be a long distance relationship, but I can fly to him anytime. I need to know what to do so that I don’t screw this most amazing thing up. Swati

Hi Swati,

Congratulations on having found someone you share such an amazing connection with. The best part is that you’ve known each other for a while as friends first, have shared intimate issues with each other and are now able to feel a strong attraction. This is the foundation of all good relationships.

The best way to not screw it up is to take it one day at a time, one encounter at a time. As long as every time you’re in contact it’s fun and feels good, you will both want it to continue. Don’t let impatience get the best of you, thinking it needs to move along at a certain pace. Courtship is like a dance – sometimes you move forward, and sometimes you step back.

The only thing I would caution you against is flying to him. He’s the man, and needs to be pro-active, meaning, he should be flying to you more often than you flying to him. He needs to make an effort to see you. By doing this, he lets you know he’s interested and it also lets him know you’re not just a fling who’s willing to get on a plane at the drop of a hat!

The long distance thing is the only negative I see, but luckily, there is Skype and Facetime, so it will be a lot easier to “be there” without really being there.

Tags: dating relationships dating advice relationship advice long distance relationships

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# Amber 2017-09-27 20:27
Hey Lucia I need help getting my ex boyfriend back. I want to get back together with him before Halloween. That gives me about a month. We still talk and we just hung out so I need some advice on how to fix this. I really want this relationship.
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