Is your man emotionally withdrawn, distant and even more guarded than usual? OK, so you find yourself in this unfortunate situation. How do you fix it?
First, before getting into what you need to do in order to try and make him less distant I want to bring up one important point: he might not necessarily be emotionally distant. Men and women are different in how they express emotions.
What you consider emotionally distant might just be him relaxing—this is just an example—what I am trying to illustrate is he could be doing something totally normal that you interpret as “him being distant” or “him losing interest.”
That’s why it’s important to know a few characteristics of what it looks like when he’s becoming emotionally distant:
• He doesn’t discuss sensitive topics at all and he used to
• He’s talkative with other people and not you
• He’s very quiet and in the past he was very talkative
• He ignores you and even hurts your feelings and you try to tell him this, but all he does is get more distant
Now that you know what it looks like if he is losing interest, let’s explore what to do!
The answer is: no matter what, give him space.
First ask him if he’s OK (just once). Do NOT do this constantly and persistently. (More on this here.) If you keep asking him what’s wrong, he will end up pulling away more and more.
It’s not your fault, I know your intention is to help. But men are wired to detach and shut down when faced with questions about whether they are OK or not.
So now that you’re going to give him space… while you do this, think about whether he was ever emotionally “present” and whether he is simply losing interest in you in a general sense.
If he is losing interest in you, he is going to become emotionally distant as a result of this. If he’s starting to question whether he loves/likes you or not, if he is unsure about you while in the past he was certain he loved you… all these things cause a man to become emotionally distant.
What can you do in this situation? Nothing. There is nothing you can do to make someone like and love you.
And why would you want to, anyway? Forcing someone to love you isn’t natural and does not make sense. You deserve better.
The best thing you can do is try your best not to focus on what he is or is not feeling—life your life, have fun and be happy.
Focus On Yourself: Manage Your Mood
This is something a lot of women do not realize: your mood is directly related to how attractive men view you as.
Your mood is going to make you more or less attractive in his eyes. Even the hottest woman can become unattractive if she has a negative attitude. If you are in a negative mood a lot of the time and worrying about what is going on with him, he will feel this mood. (This article talks a lot more about this concept.)
He will then become even more emotionally distant because of the vibe you’re giving off. Not saying it’s your fault, I am saying this to help you and give you the real answer to solve this problem once and for all.
So the answer you’re looking for to the question: “What should I do if he’s becoming emotionally distant?” is simple. Focus on being in the best mood that you can be when you’re around him.
Try to aim for the vibe that you felt when you first started dating – the excited, happy, delighted vibe that you had with him. If you can recapture that mood, it will go a long way towards bringing him back from wherever his mind went.
At the end of the day, you can’t control him, and you can’t make him love you any more than you can make the sun not set. But by focusing on being at your best, you give yourself the best chance to rekindle the emotional intimacy in your relationship.