Hi Lucia,

I am totally in love with this girl...and I know that I can't have her. Even if I did get her, it wouldn't be a very healthy relationship. Simply put, I could NEVER trust her.  She is kind of a "bad girl/player," which isn't EVEN MY TYPE!!  Also, we don't seem to have too much in common, either...but I have NEVER been so attracted to someone in my life.

Why do I want her so bad?? I can't figure this one out. There doesn't appear to be any chance for happiness, but I still can't help myself. In fact, I am actually "taking a break" from her & haven't talked to her in over 2 weeks. This doesn't seem to be working either. Joe S.

 

Hi Joe,

Your first sentence has the answer to all your questions. You know you can’t have her, and therefore, you want her. People want things they can’t have, simply because they’re hard to get. This is why everyone says they want a Ferrari. Well, I’ve been in several Ferraris, and I’ve got to tell you, I don’t. They’re hard to get in and out of and all the other cars on the road are towering over you.

You’re not in love with her.  Don’t be so frivolous with such an important word. Love is admiration and respect, and you can’t feel that for someone you don’t trust. The fact that you are so into her means that she is your type, otherwise, you wouldn’t be interested. Players are not my type therefore I’m not attracted to them, available or not.

You’re right, staying away isn’t going to help. It’s like telling yourself you have to lose weight and you must stay away from pizza, so guess what’s always on your mind?  Pizza.

So I say, go ahead. Everyone needs to have their heart broken a few times before they wise up and learn it’s better to run, not walk, from this type of person.