Dear Lucia,
I’ve been dating this guy for about 1½ months. What is the best way to break up with him without hurting him too much? I know he'll be hurt no matter what but should I just be simple and say "I can't date you anymore". Problem is, he goes to the same small events as I do. I don't mind seeing him there and don't want him to stop going because of me.
There are no bad feelings on my part but he's falling for me and won't take it well. He's very immature, which is the main reason we can't even stay friends.
Part of me would like to explain why I want to stop seeing him but I don't want get into a complaint fest and I’m not sure if he's open to hearing anything. Is it better to lie and say I'm dating someone else?
I keep getting different comments from both men and women on this subject. The men said “Don't say that you met someone else but be more honest. The women said either tell him what's wrong or just say something simple. Marnie
Dear Marnie,
I’ll have to side with some of the women on this one. Being honest and telling him he’s immature is not going to suddenly make him mature. He is who he is, and you’re not a match.
There is no way to break up with someone without hurting them, if they have feelings for you. However you’re not responsible for his feelings; he can choose to react however he wants to.
I would say something like: You're a great guy but I have to be honest. This isn't working for me. I don't feel a connection so I'm going to move on. There are no hard feelings on my part.
Don't get sucked into a conversation about what's wrong. Just say you've made up your mind and wish him well.
