Dear Lucia,
I found out my boyfriend cheated on me. I know it has not been the 1st time. I always find pictures of other girls in his phone, emails, tickets from dinners and movies.
I broke up with him but my trouble is that I cannot get used to not being with him. I know I did the right thing but I feel so attached to him that sometimes I want to go back. I know he won’t change.
What can I do to stay strong? I thought that it would be easy but it is not. I put with it for years and I don’t want to feel the same. Our relationship was pretty serious.
He is 33 and I’m 20. We’ve been together almost 3 ½ years. Fabi
Dear Fabi,
Before I knew your age, I was ready to be sympathetic as I gave you my “not putting up with a cheater spiel.” However, given the fact that you’ve been with this guy since you were a teenager and you’re only 20, I say, it’s about time it ended! (BTW, were you even legal when you started dating?)
You don't miss him, per se, you miss the way you felt when you were with him and things were going well. Don't worry, you will feel that way again, and hopefully next time, it won't be with a cheater.
You did the right thing by walking away. You should never trade self-respect and self-esteem for a relationship. The price you have to pay is too high.
Self esteem can be defined as being impressed by your courage to do the right thing. The longer you stay, the less courage you demonstrate and the lower your self-esteem goes. The faster you leave, the higher your self-esteem goes.
I can promise you that the longer you stay away from him, the easier it will get. Right now you miss him because he was a big part of your daily routine. You need to replace him with something else that will occupy your time in a healthy way – working out, studying, spending more time with friends and family, etc. Before you know it, you won’t miss him anymore and will be glad that you moved on.
