Dear Lucia,
I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 years. We're in our 30's and have a committed relationship. Jay has been divorced since 2016 and was with the ex for 8 years. There were no children from the marriage.
He still has pictures of her on his PC. They are not displayed on the desktop, but are in folders & there are many of them. It’s upsetting for me when we are viewing pictures to have to stop abruptly because the rest of the pictures have her in them.
Last night I asked why he kept them and it seemed like he hadn't really thought it through, but then he just said that they were there for memories. I said, "Well why can't you get rid of the ones that have her in them?"
Is it OK for me to ask him to get rid of her pictures? Bobi
Dear Bobi,
What are you afraid of? Do you think that one day he’ll be looking at her pictures and decide to get back together with her? Well, he just might do that if you’re going to be an insecure girlfriend. You’re asking him to throw away memories from 8 years of his life. How dare you!
He had a life before you met him. All his relationships, including his marriage, have made him into the person you fell in love with. If anything, you should be grateful that he’s already been married and made mistakes he’ll know not to repeat if you two ever walk down the aisle.
What matters is what’s in his heart, not his hard drive. Let it go.
