Dear Lucia,
I have been seeing this guy who has been married/divorced twice, that does a lot of weird things. I am 33 and he is 39. He has asked me out on a date 2 times and the first time called and cancelled because he was sick.
The second time he never even called to cancel, show up, or answer my phone calls to find out what happened. He has this routine of calling me 2-3 days after he stands me up and apologizes because he said he was tired. He says he is nervous around me because he likes me.
When I am with him, we are always drinking and he constantly showers me with compliments on how sexy, smart, beautiful, and fun that I am. He's already said he is going to make me his third wife and that he wants me to give him a son.
I screwed up and called him wasted last night and told him off--called him a jerk and asked him what his problem is. I am really attracted to him. He is extremely hot, has a great personality and is a lot of fun when I am around him. Why is he acting like this? What is up with this guy? Carly
Dear Carly,
At first I thought this email was a joke. I wondered if anyone could really be that blind and unfortunately, the answer is…yes!
What is up with this guy? No, the question is: What is up with you? What happened to you, that you think so little of yourself that you are willing to put up with someone who constantly stands you up? I don’t know what your idea of fun is, but dating someone who has so little respect for me is not my idea of fun. I can understand a girl in her early 20s disregarding all the red flags just because the guy is “extremely hot”, but by your early 30s, you really should know better.
Telling him off was the only right thing you’ve done, and yet you’re afraid you screwed up. You’ve got everything backwards.
Your interest in him is so high that you can’t see that he’s not that into you, otherwise he wouldn’t ghost you and then pop up a few days later with a bs excuse of being tired. Every time you accept his excuse and see him again, his interest in you goes down even further.
Also, how the heck is he going to make you his 3rd wife (wow, what an honor), if he can't even keep a date. He's playing you and you're buying it hook, line and sinker.
Keep it moving. There’s nothing to see here.
