Hi Lucia,
I’m currently single and considering a “friends with benefits” relationship with my ex. We broke up a year ago and are both single, but don't want to get back together. However, none of my close friends - man or woman - has ever had one, nor would go there for fear of catching feelings for the other person and/or being jilted when the other person found someone they liked better. What do you think? Kim C.
Hi Kim,
I don’t like the expression “Friends with benefits.” Let’s call it what it is: A lover. I believe if someone is not in a relationship, and hasn’t taken a vow of celibacy, they should have a lover. I especially believe women should always have a lover. Men are usually happy with a booty call relationship, but I think women need a lover.
This would be someone that is not only skilled in bed, but is also able to take them out, sleep over sometimes, and generally be there for them, with no expectations on either side. Impossible you say? Not at all. (I know!)
A lover should be someone that you know there is little to no chance of a real relationship with. This could be because they’re either too young or too old for you, someone whose company you enjoy but know you could never commit to or an ex you get along with but no longer have any romantic feelings for (nor they for you).
Life is about balance. Just because you don’t have a partner at the moment, there’s no reason to deprive yourself of male energy if you’re a woman, and female energy if you’re a man. That way, when you do meet someone you think you may want to get to know better, you won’t be tempted to jump into bed with them, because those needs are already being met.
