Hi Lucia,
I started dating a guy who was in a 10 year relationship. They had serious issues; they didn’t enjoy doing the same things, there was a history of her flirting and texting other men. He was not ready to settle down because he was a widower and his children didn't like her.
We met and started dating right when they broke up. Everyone liked us together and we got along great, we made a lot of sense; traveled together, started a new routine, saw each other as often as our schedule is allowed, were in constant healthy communication, etc. BUT, once she found out about me she started contacting him and he went back to her.
He cut things off with me cold and refuses to speak to me. They have 10 years of dysfunction, but I knew he needed to go back and address it. Will he come back? If he does, how do I trust him again? Amber
Hi Amber,
This scenario is nothing new. It also happened to me. I met a guy right after his breakup, and as soon as his ex found out about me, suddenly she wanted him back. They got back together, but broke up a year later. Guess who he immediately contacted? That would be me. We ended up dating for 5 years and he wanted to get married, but I said no.
You're right when you say he needs to address it. You don't want to start a relationship with someone who's with you physically but emotionally with their ex. If they felt the need to break up after 10 years, I doubt it's suddenly going to work out in year 11.
Be patient and there's an excellent chance he'll come looking for you when it ends. I don't think you need to worry about trusting him. He had unfinished business to take care of. I doubt he'll go back to try for a third time.
