Hi Lucia,
I was just wondering how to talk to a guy, what to say. Sometimes when we are talking there’s an awkward silence! What should we talk about when we are texting? Should I say I want to talk about our relationship or do guys hate that? We will be going to the mall. Should I hold his hand? Blu
Hi Blu,
I’m glad you wrote to me. I can tell from your questions that you’re either a teenager or in your early 20s. Yet, the questions you ask are in the minds of women twice your age. Hopefully I can stop you now from getting into bad habits.
If you’re concerned about awkward silences, then have a list in your mind of things to talk about. Do not discuss the relationship. What’s to discuss? I know that any relationship discussions are going to be about you wanting to know where it’s going. However, if you follow my advice, you will know where it’s going, because the guy will want to see you and talk to you as much as possible.
I know your generation is into communicating via texting, however it is too impersonal and makes you too accessible. This is not a good thing when you are trying to establish a romantic relationship. So, even though it goes against what all your friends are doing, I would keep texting to an absolute minimum. It should mainly be used for logistics – I’m running late, do you want me to pick something up for you at the store, etc. Once in a while you can have a very brief conversation with just 3 or 4 exchanges. If nothing else, you will at least stand out in his mind as not being like all the other girls! Yes, that’s a good thing!
Finally, in terms of the PDA, you need to let the man (or the boy in this case) initiate any form of public affection. Some guys don’t feel comfortable with PDA, so you don’t want to put them in the position of trying to untangle themselves from you.
Your questions all come from a place of feeling you need to be pro-active, but you don’t. Females are meant to receive. You don’t need to initiate anything. You just need to show up with a smile, look good, smell good, sound good and Mother Nature will do the rest.
