Hi Lucia,
I’ve been dating a guy for 2 1/2 months and we are very happy together. He is understanding and has everything I need in a man. The problem is that sometimes we have nothing to talk about – I have to think about what to say next. We were born and brought up in different environments and we have different points of view as well. Sometimes I don’t express my feelings properly because I try to talk about what he likes. If this is the situation now then what will happen after marriage?
I really love him a lot, feel lucky to be with him and want to spend my whole life with him. Is this normal or do I need to do something for this? Angel
Hi Angel,
What could possibly have given you the idea that this is normal? Do you think people would be searching for “the one” if it was someone they couldn’t have a great conversation with? It’s actually the opposite! One of the signs of whether someone is a potential lifetime partner is that you can and do talk about anything and everything. There is rarely a lull in the conversation, especially after only 2 ½ months.
That’s why there are so many jokes about being able to tell who the old, married couple is in a restaurant – because they’ve stopped talking, while people that have just started dating can’t stop talking!
However, I have to place most of the blame for this on you, because you aren’t being authentic – you only want to discuss things he’s interested in. You must be bored to death by now – that’s why it’s hard to think of something to say. Instead of discussing things you like, you’re being an actress and pretending to be someone else. However, this is real life, not a movie, where someone writes your lines for you.
If you want to turn this around you need to start being yourself – the person you are around your friends and family. Ironically enough, one of the ways that men fall in love is when a woman is being herself around them. So, if he likes you now, things will start to get a lot better once you show him the real you.
