Dear Lucia,
How should I handle the fact that my boyfriend of 4+ years e-mailed 2 women? I discovered this by being snoopy (my ex husband cheated). I went into his email and saw his dating profile. Then I discovered he contacted 1 woman in Aug of last year and a 2nd one in Nov. of last year. Now he tells me we should start considering getting married. How do I confront him? Dale
Dear Dale,
Your situation is a perfect example of why snooping is not a good thing. Yes, I know you found emails but you have no idea if things went any further. I’ve met people online (who claimed to be single but were actually married or in a relationship), who I then met in person but for one reason or another, nothing happened. Maybe he was having doubts about your relationship at that point and now he’s sure that you’re the one. However, since you were checking up on him, now you have to say something, because you can’t enter a marriage with this knowledge in the back of your mind.
You’ll have to be honest, tell him what you did, why you did it, apologize for invading his privacy and of course, find out why he was contacting other women. If you are satisfied with his response and have learned your lesson about snooping, then you can proceed forward. If you’re not satisfied with his response, then don’t get married until you absolutely know that you can trust him, because playing detective in your marriage won’t be fun for either one of you.
