Hi Lucia,
My boyfriend and I have been together for three and a half years. We recently had a fight which lasted three weeks. We finally sat down last night and talked things out.
Afterwards, he looked at me and said, “You look great, you been exercising?” I said, “Yes. I want to work on toning my body more since I’m pushing mid-40." That was nice of him to notice.
On his way out the door he said, “I’m going to call you over so don’t go to sleep.” I was not in the mood to be intimate, I was mentally drained. He called but I had the ringer off so that I would not be temped to answer.
Why do men want to have sex when they see the physical part looking hot? Should I have given in to sex just because he wanted to? I would not have been mentally there. I was not ready to jump back into the sack quite yet. After fighting for three weeks, is it okay to have sex? Aesha
Hi Aesha,
A fight that lasted 3 weeks? Wow. Hopefully it's been settled for good.
Men like to make up by having sex, whereas women don’t feel like having sex until they have made up. You can see how this might cause problems between the sexes.
If you were too mentally drained to have sex, then you did the right thing by not answering. However, I would have preferred if you had just been honest with him and told him you were just not up to it at that moment, instead of ignoring his call.
He was probably turned on by seeing you looking so good, especially after not having been intimate with you for over 3 weeks.
By the way, you’re not pushing mid-40, you’re simply in your mid-40’s. Don’t go along with that antiquated mind set of using disrespectful terminology when referring to women over 40.
