Hi Lucia
I was dating a girl over a period of 5 months and went on 7 dates in total. However, it got to the 7th date and I brought up the conversation about exclusivity and she said she's not ready yet. The next day I called her up and basically said we shouldn't see each other anymore if we are in different places.
Five weeks later she texts me out of the blue "Hey, I was thinking about you earlier and thought I would see how you are x". I did respond a couple of hours later and I have kept the conversation platonic and light hearted. I replied to her last messages with closed responses so she has nothing to reply to which she has now read and now nothing has come back.
I watched one of your recent videos where you have suggested going back to no contact and then not replying to her if she does reach out unless she wants another a chance or to talk, do you recommend I stick to this? Lewis
Hi Lewis,
You should not be in no contact. She didn't break up with you. She simply wasn't ready to be exclusive yet and I agree with her. 7 dates over a 5 month period is usually not enough time for someone to decide if they want exclusivity. You should wait until you've had at least 10 dates with someone before even considering being exclusive.
Why was it only an average of 1 date per month? Was she the one who wasn't available? If so, then that should have told you her interest was low, so there was no point in asking to be exclusive. If you were the one who wasn't available, then she probably felt she wasn't a priority, and therefore didn't want to be exclusive until you showed her that she wasn't just an option.
The fact that she reached out means she's probably interested in seeing you again. Instead of giving her closed responses, you need to ask her out. You ended things with her, so it's up to you to bring this back to life.
