Hi Lucia,
I'm going into week 7 of no contact and nothing. Every day I think I’m getting better but then start to think it’s another day of her re-affirming to herself that she made the right decision, since I’m not chasing her.
We only dated for 4 months but she told me she loved me first, introduced me to all her friends, played with my daughters as I played with her sons.
I now realize the mistakes I made in our “relationship” but never got to explain my side to her and just agreed with the breakup (which was via text). I remember you said when someone breaks up through texts that's really bad, because it shows they were angry.
I realize now I disrespected her by going on vacation with my ex and daughters. However I know if I had offered to not go, she would have insisted I go...now I’m stuck in this painful limbo.
I feel like I should reach out, not to beg or plead but to say my peace. Rich
Hi Rich,
This would be the absolute worst time to break no contact. You're in that golden time of 45-60 days, when your ex is most likely to reach out.
Secondly, you don't know what's on her mind. You're assuming that you not contacting her is making her steadfast in her decision to break up with you. How do you know she's not questioning her decision, and possibly thinking she made a mistake?
I don't believe you disrespected her by going on vacation with your family. It's not like you went away with just your ex. You were only dating her for 4 months. She's not your fiance or your wife. Besides, you said that if you had offered not to go, she would have insisted you go. So you were in a no-win situation.
I don't like the fact that she broke up with you via text, after 4 months of dating. I find her to be disrespectful, not you. She should have at least called or met you in person. I believe she was trying to get a reaction out of you, but it backfired, because luckily you listened to me and went straight into no contact.
If she had wanted you to say your peace, she wouldn't have broken up with you via text. She made a rash decision, and now she needs to deal with the consequences of her actions.
Stay in no contact.
