Hi Lucia,
I went out with a coworker a couple of times, but then a new person started working in a different department and she started dating him. After one year they got married.
About 2 months ago I found out from two different coworkers that she had been asking about me, like if I was single and how I was doing. Last month she got divorced after four years of marriage. Around that time she pretended to bump into me at the store and we talked for about an hour.
She asked me if I had her number. I told her I didn't and she gave it to me. She seemed like she was excited to see me. I called her a week later, with the excuse to ask her if she had gotten the promotion. We talked for a few minutes, and when I was about to ask her out she cut me off and stated that she was getting ready to go do some things.
A mutual friend told me that I should wait and give her time to recover. I have bumped into her a few times. It's only been a hello because at the time either she is talking to someone or I am. Also her ex works in IT two doors down.
Should I wait for her when she is ready, do no contact or take action and ask her out? - Luis
Hi Luis,
You're certainly in a unique position. First let me point out the mistakes you already made and another one you're about to make.
Giving her an hour of your precious time was too much. It wasn't even on a date, but in a store! You've already signaled to her through your actions that you are still VERY interested, even after all these years. That comes across as beta. Remember, she chose this other guy over you.
Then, you called her with a flimsy excuse, and she didn't even let you ask her out. It wasn't a surprise that she suddenly had to end the conversation.
Now you want to start dating her, even though her divorce just went through AND her ex works two doors down. I see disaster written all over this. You'll be putting yourself in the rebound position. Even if she does agree to go out with you, she's still recovering from her failed marriage and you would be nothing more than a rebound. Also, she may be being friendly with you in order to make her ex jealous. He works in IT. He could mess things up for you if he really wanted to.
You obviously can't do no contact since you'll be seeing her in the office. Also, you only went on two dates years ago, so no contact is irrelevant here. It's also too soon to start dating her, as you'll be the rebound.
I would suggest you sit tight and let her make any moves. That way you'll know for sure that she's somewhat interested. However, keep things casual for at least 6 months to a year, in order to be sure she's absolutely moved on and you're no longer the rebound.
