Hi Lucia,
What do you suggest for how to talk to women? I was once involved with what is called "The Pick Up Artist" community, but a lot of it felt too fake for me.
They talked about always asking women for their opinion on something that you may not actually care about, and not letting them know you're attracted to them since it gives women too much power over the men. They say that's especially true with attractive women, since they probably get told they're beautiful hundreds of times a day.
Seeing as how you're an attractive woman, what are your thoughts on all this? Is it best to go up to a woman and just say "Hi. I wanted to let you know you're extremely attractive. What's your name?" Or something else? Jackie
Hi Jackie,
When a guy approaches a woman, most of the time she will assume he’s interested, no matter what he says or doesn’t say. The fact that he’s speaking to her lets her know he’s probably attracted to her. There’s no way to avoid “giving her the power” at that point.
Approaching women is about being in the moment.
There is no “pick up line” which will work every time, with every woman. You have to observe the situation and comment appropriately.
If you’re waiting in line to order at a café and the woman in front of you orders a club sandwich, you can say, “Do you know if the club sandwiches here are good?”
I remember one time a guy was walking by who looked like Alex Rodriguez. I smiled at him and he smiled back. I told him he looked like Arod and the conversation continued from there.
You’re right about not commenting on how a woman looks when you first meet her, but not for the reason you gave. Attractive women are used to getting compliments, in fact, they expect them.
If you tell a woman you’ve just met that she’s beautiful, the dialogue cloud above her head is thinking, “Tell me something I don’t know.” She already knows she’s hot. How do you think she got that way? Do you think she just rolled out of bed like that? Since most guys behave that way, you’ll fall into the category of "basic" and won’t stand out from everyone else.
Instead, you want to tease her, be light and funny. You can say something like: I know you probably don’t get a lot of attention, so I wanted to come over and say hi. Most of the time, it’s not so much what you say, as how you say it. If she’s attracted to you, unless you say something really stupid, she’ll respond positively.
Finally, watch your body language.
Everyone wants someone who exudes confidence. Smile, stand up straight, make direct eye contact and don’t fidget or move around too much.
