Hi Lucia,
Should I be in a no contact with my ex if I'm the one who hung up on him during an argument and did not call him for three days? When i did reach out to him he's said, "I'm done. I don't wanna talk with you anymore."
I was shocked. My reason for not calling him back right away was because he was yelling so loud and wouldn't let me speak. I got tired of trying to explain, so I hung up, in order to give him time to cool off.
When I went to his home he said, "I need you to leave" and I did. I didn't try talk to him, I just left. We have texted since the breakup. He sent me a picture he took with his daughter and grandson, and sent me some information I was waiting on and that's was it. Is this a fake breakup? Yvonne
Hi Yvonne,
It certainly sounds like a fake break up to me. If someone breaks up with you, especially if it was unexpected, and they then contact you as if nothing happened (sending you a picture and information), it's usually a fake breakup. He's now regretting telling you that he's done, and is trying to show through his actions that he still wants you in his life.
I believe he was hurt that you hung up on him and didn't contact him for 3 days, so he "broke up" with you in retaliation. However, if he's old enough to have grandchildren but is still yelling at people on the phone, this tells me you're dealing with someone who hasn't matured emotionally.
While you were wrong to hang up on him, he's the one who broke up with you, so he's the one who needs to work to put this back together. I'm sure you've already apologized.
In the future, when you want to end a conversation, you can say, "Being yelled at doesn't feel good to me. I'm going to hang up. Please call me when you've calmed down and we can discuss this again". By telling him you're going to hang up and telling him to reach out when he's cooled down, you put the ball into his court, and you don't have to feel guilty about hanging up.
