Hi Lucia,
I'm in a situation where I need to know if I should I stay or go with this friendship/relationship.
5 weeks ago he called and asked me to take out a loan for $1000. I could not believe it. I told him no.
He blew up my phone because I did not do what he asked.
I'm 40 years old and I don't have any outstanding debt. I'm a single mom, homeowner with two girls ages 19 and 16. I paid off three credit cards and my Honda. He knows now that I have good credit and extra money. He filed for chapter 13 last year.
He cursed me out for not following his plan when it came to my money. His plan? This is MY money to do whatever. Is this the kinda guy a woman should keep a friendship/relationship with? A.K.S.
Dear A.K.S.
Your letter is a bit scary (okay, it’s very scary) because you have been alive for 4 decades, have 2 teenagers and still need to ask whether it’s okay to keep this “kinda” guy around. Sure, as a booty call.
I want everyone reading this to listen up!
Never, ever lend someone you’re dating more than a few hundred dollars at a time. I’m willing to allow this small amount of money because I understand things happen, however, don’t let the amount build up. If they get an attitude about it, that’s a big, red flag.
He is obviously fiscally irresponsible, so how could you trust him to ever pay you back? And then he curses you out because you’re not his puppy dog doing whatever he wants? Someone using profanity towards you is always a red flag, but in this situation, I think it’s a black flag!
I suggest you cut off all communication with this loser immediately and permanently. Nothing good can come out of having him in your life, not to mention the fact that you will be setting a very bad example for your daughters.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes with dating and relationships, but I never made the mistake of lending a guy too much money (and $1000 is usually too much, unless you’re a millionaire).
My fear of not having enough money has always been greater than my fear of not having a guy. May I suggest you adopt my attitude and you will never be ripped off.
