Hi Lucia,
I am a chemist, fairly attractive and graduated at the top of my class at an Ivy League school. I want to have children but can’t seem to find a guy! The only guys who seem to be interested in me are other chemists or scientists, but I have no interest in them. They actually look as you would imagine them to look, which is not very attractive!
My ideal guy would be very good looking and also from an Ivy League school, yet they only seem to be interested in trophy women. I find that very shallow.
My I.Q. is 142 yet I cannot figure out why it’s so hard for me to find a guy. Am I too smart? V.G.
Hi V.G.,
Sometimes, we are too smart for our own good. I often find that people who are intellectually intelligent are not always socially intelligent. They lead with their resume, much as you did in your email.
As I’m sure you already know, guys are attracted to looks first, and then they are interested in what is behind that. While many women think this is unfair, you have to look at it from the point of view of Mother Nature.
If a guy is not attracted to a woman, he will not be able to “get it up”. If he can’t get excited, he will not be able to have intercourse, which means the woman will not be able to get pregnant. If women can’t get pregnant and have children, eventually the human race will disappear. This is why it’s actually a good thing that men choose women with their penis!
You said you are fairly attractive yet want someone who is very good looking. While there are a lot of inter-racial couples, there aren’t a lot of “inter-facial” couples. This is because people tend to feel more comfortable with people who are close to them in terms of attractiveness.
If there is a big disparity in looks – the man is a 9 and the woman is a 6 or vice versa, it is generally because one of them has power, wealth or status. A very good looking guy from an Ivy League school can easily get a 10, so why would he settle for less? He’s more interested in his equal in terms of attractiveness as opposed to his equal in terms of intellect, for the reason I gave above.
What should you do? I believe you have three choices.
You can get a makeover and transform yourself from fairly attractive to very attractive. Most women are not maximizing their looks either because they don’t care, don’t know how or don’t think they have to. I’m amazed to find that people who are, in my opinion, a 6 or 7 on the looks scale, actually think they are an 8 or a 9 and vice versa!
You need to either be brutally honest with yourself or find someone who is willing to be so and figure out what you need to change. You will then have a better chance of attracting the type of guy you say you want. You will still be the same person on the inside, you’re just making the “packaging” more appealing.
Your second choice is to “go to where you’re wanted”. This means, look around and see who is interested in you, who you’ve been ignoring. Are you not also being shallow by rejecting the chemists and scientists based on their looks? Instead of automatically dismissing them, why not at least go on one date and see what happens? You may be pleasantly surprised.
Finally, if your primary goal is children more than marriage, the only other thing to do would be to go to a sperm bank and ask for someone who is very attractive and from an Ivy League school. While I don’t agree with raising children without a father, this is an option if you’re open to it.
