Hi Lucia,
We lived together and I moved out in April after I asked him to partake in counseling. He said yes, and then he said no and that he didn’t want to work it out.
Since living separately we hung out a few times and still had chemistry. He kept telling me he needed space and we would have more convos.
He brought me to the airport last week and held onto my hand and gave me the biggest hug. Yesterday, he agreed to meet at the beach where he tells me he wants to be alone, went on a date with someone, and is talking to other women.
I embarrassingly cried and said it’s hard because I won’t see you again. He said we would and he wouldn’t mind an “open friendship” (whatever that is). I am beyond heartbroken.
Since the meetup I kept calling and texting, I don’t know what to do and if it’s too late for no contact. I feel he's giving me mixed signals. Krysta
Hi Krysta,
If there was ever a situation that called for no contact, this would be it.
Although you see his actions and words as mixed signals, I can clearly see where his interest level is and unfortunately, it's not just with you. He SAYS he wants to be alone, but meanwhile he went on a date and is talking to other women. Actions speak louder than words.
He doesn't want to be in a relationship right now, but doesn't want to lose you from his life entirely. Yes, he's defintely being selfish.
By continuing to pursue him, you just boost his ego and let him know you're not going anywhere. What incentive does he have to see only you, if there are no consequences for his behavior? You currently have no boundaries with him.
You must immediately go into no contact. Don't even tell him. I want him to experience the shock of not getting a response from you the next time he reaches out, and the next time, and the next time. Unless he wants to be back in a committed relationship with you, there's nothing to be gained by sticking around hoping he'll change his mind.
