Dear Lucia,
I had a massive fight with my man and accused him of something really stupid that I know in my heart he isn't capable of. He flew off the handle and stormed out of my house.
The next day I made the 30min journey to his house to apologize and he wouldn't let me in. I have tried texting and calling. I even tried leaving him alone for a week so he could calm down. I've written him a letter and given that to him, telling him why I said what I did but still no response. It's been 3 weeks.
Why won’t he respond? Candace
Dear Candace,
There could be several reasons why he’s reacting this way:
1. This was the last straw and he’s done
2. He doesn’t think your apology is sincere
3. He wants to punish you
4. Any combination thereof
The fact that he still won’t speak to you after 3 weeks concerns me. Someone that loves you will not keep you in limbo for that amount of time if they’re upset with you. Love means you care about another person’s feelings as much as you care about your own. His lengthy silence tells me his pride and hurt feelings are more important to him than you.
At this point, unless he’s decided it’s over, he’s over-reacting. Now it’s about punishing you so that you feel as much pain as he did. Even if you do get back together, you need to discuss how you resolve conflicts in the future, because if he really cares about you, then his behavior is unacceptable.
I would suggest contacting him one more time and saying something this: I’ve tried to contact you and apologize many times but you refuse to accept my apology. I don’t want to bother you any more. This will be my last communication. If you would like to contact me, my door is open. If not, then I wish you well.
Keep your word and don’t try to get in touch with him again, no matter what! Someone I was upset with left a similar message for me and when I heard it, my heart melted. I hope this will have the same effect on your man.
