Hi Lucia,
I have a steady boyfriend of 6 months that wants to marry me. I am 47 and he is 50 or 51. I think I love him and we seem very compatible. I told him I need a couple months to think about it.
I am secretly in love with a male friend of mine. We have never been more than friends but care for each other a lot, even though he is married. His relationship with her is always on the rocks and I would never do anything to cause a divorce. I never even told him I am in love with him. Debbie
Hi Debbie,
Well, you didn’t ask a question, so I’m going to assume you’re wondering whether you should marry the steady you’ve been dating for a mere six months, whose age you’re not quite sure of, who you think you love but will need a couple of months to consider his proposal because you’re secretly in love with a married male friend.
Hmm, let me think…….
Gee, I guess my answer would be….HELL NO!
If you are not ecstatic about this guy wanting you to be his wife, then you have no desire to fill that position. Two days, two weeks or two months isn’t going to change your mind, unless of course you’re waiting to see what happens with your “friend”. Are you going to base your decision on whether he’s still married at that time? If he is, your current steady would only become your husband by default. Is that fair to him? Would you want to be someone’s second choice as a wife? Besides, how do you know your friend could ever see you as more than that?
You have 3 choices here: 1. End the relationship with your steady and hang around waiting for your friend’s marriage to end, no matter how many years that may take, if ever. 2. End the relationship with your steady and find someone who makes you forget about your friend. 3. Hang in there with this one, see what happens and forget you have feelings for someone that is unavailable.
