Hi Lucia,
I emailed you few months ago about my boyfriend (who now is my ex). He told me that "We can be gf /bf but I will never marry you". The moment I received a reply from you, I decided to break up with him and move on with my life. I am glad I did as I have met a really nice guy.
Things have been really good - calls/texts etc. He always wanted to meet me in my spare time. Then suddenly he stopped calling me. I didn’t call him on the 1st day but on the 2nd day we had to link up. I called him a few times, but he didn’t answer. I sent him a text and. he replied, "We should move on. I am sorry. I have my reasons, forgive me"
I didn’t respond. After 2 days he texted me asking if I was ok and why I stopped calling/texting him. I replied "I am not happy with you not because you broke up with me via text and you never mentioned if you wanted us to remain friends." He responded "That text wasn’t meant for you, I can explain" and he made me believe that the text was for his ex who is after him.
Since then things haven’t been the same. He doesn’t call or text me as he used to. When I mention this, he blames me for not calling/texting. I was tired of this and I texted him saying that I wanna move on with my life if he is not sure what he wants. He replied, “I know what I want baby and that’s you. I will give you a call tomorrow.” I haven’t heard from him. What should I do? Is he playing games? Shall I move on with my life? Jasmine
Hi Jasmine,
Ah, yes. The old, “That text wasn’t meant for you”. I’ve heard that one before. Interesting how he happened to send you a text “by mistake” right after you texted him! Even if it were true that it wasn’t for you (which I highly doubt), his actions afterwards betray his words.
Why do people assume the other person is playing a game when it’s obvious that they have lost interest? You ask, “What should I do?” Well, I think you’ve already done enough. Dating is like a dance. One step forward, one step back. Instead, every time you initiated contact or sent text after text before waiting to hear from him, you kept taking steps forward. In the end, you ran him over.
I’m not saying he doesn’t have any responsibility in this, but we can’t control others’ behavior, only our own. You are trying too hard, doing too much of the heavy lifting. If a guy is interested, he will eventually call/text again. It may take him longer than most women would like, but he will do it.
The key is to be patient and get on with your life in the meantime. Sitting around obsessing over someone and trying to hunt them down via phone/text is a dead end road.
