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- Written by: Administrator
Dear Lucia,
I went out with a guy on a first date. He was incredible. He is not very good looking, but his personality shined through. The next day I got the bright idea of sending flowers as a way to say thank you for a wonderful date. Needless to say, we are no longer dating. Is sending flowers to a man still a big no-no? Lilly
Dear Lilly,
You're right - it was a bright idea. Just kidding! What were you thinking? Of course sending a guy flowers is still a no-no – unless he's your long term boyfriend or husband. When a man receives flowers from a woman he barely knows, he feels emasculated and you've just killed the chase that men love. You've told him, "I'm yours" before he's even had a a chance to know if he wants you to be his.
A simple, "Thank you. I had a nice time." at the end of the date would have sufficed. Stop trying so hard!
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- Written by: Lucia
Dear Lucia,
My boyfriend won't kiss me, and only wants sex about twice a month. How can I get him to want me more? Sandi D.
Dear Sandi,
You can't get someone to do something they don't want to do. They're either inspired to do it or they're not. Has it always been like this or has the situation changed recently? If this is how it's always been, things aren't likely to change. You need to decide if this is the type of relationship you want. If you don't have a high sex drive, then twice a month shouldn't be a problem.
If however, you need more sex, that's a different story. If it's been this way from the start, then your boyfriend probably doesn't have a high sex drive. If this is a recent development, then you need to ask him what's going on.
Also, the no kissing bothers me. It almost sounds like he's treating you as a booty call. You need to have a talk and you may eventually need to walk.
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- Written by: Administrator
Dear Lucia,
I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months. I met him online. My concern is that his profile is still up, like he's still single. Should I be concerned about this?
I have asked him. He said he just wants to get to know people all over the world. His career goal is to be a movie star, therefore, it's necessary to get his name out there.
I know he doesn't talk to anyone over the phone except me, some close friends and family. I know this because his phone bill is under my name, but he pays for it. Any suggestions? Alison W.
Dear Alison,
He's online because his career goal is to be a movie star? LMAO! I don't mean to laugh, but that's the best excuse I've heard yet from someone that wants to keep their profile up, even though they have a steady partner. Puh-leese.
You say you have access to his phone bill, but how do you know he doesn't have another phone, maybe under someone else's name? Why is the phone in your name? He could also be using skype, facetime, whats app or God knows what else.
Tell him you're putting your profile back online and when he asks why, nonchalantly say it's because you want to "get to know people all over the world." If that doesn't get him to take his profile down, leave. He's obviously not ready to be monogamous.
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- Written by: Lucia
Hi Lucia,
We have a delivery guy that comes to our office daily. He's very flirtatious but I can't tell if he's interested. There is no ring so he's not married. I am embarrassed to ask him out because I don't know if he's seeing anyone and the fact that I have to face him everyday.
Any suggestions?
Susan
Hi Susan,
Don't assume someone isn't married, just because they're not wearing a ring. The best thing to do would be to slowly get to know him by asking casual questions or making casual comments. If he's interested, he'll keep the conversation going, and eventually ask you out. If he doesn't ask you out, he's either married, attached, gay or not interested.
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- Written by: Administrator
Hi Lucia,
Why is it that after a few months a guy loses interest? He says he loves me a lot, but he's busy preparing for our future. How does a female respond to that when she just wants to be with him, spend every waking moment with him!
Alison
Hi Alison,
If he didn't love you, why would he be preparing for your future? However, why are you even planning a future when you've only been together for a few months? The purpose of dating is to find out what someone is about and if you're compatible for the long term. The fact that you say you want to spend every waking moment with him tells me you're still in the "honeymoon" phase of your relationship. You've put him on a pedestal. When you have taken him down from that pedestal, have seen his positive and negative qualities (and he has seen yours) and you still want to be together, then and only then, should you be planning a future.
